I performed my first wedding!

You may already know this, but I became an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church in 2000. I did it as kind of a joke - a friend of mine had the idea that he wanted to "marry rock & roll" and I told him I'd get ordained & perform the ceremony - I held up my end of the bargain. He, however, chickened out. (I thought it was a brilliant idea, and I still think somebody should do this!)

I sort of forgot that I had "the power" to perform marriage ceremonies, and then my friend Doug told me that he & his girlfriend Danielle were going to get married. I mentioned to him that I was an ordained minister, and lo & behold, suddenly I was committed to performing my first marriage ceremony.

I was pretty nervous about this - afterall you don't want to do anything wrong when you're performing a legal life-changing ceremony. Surprisingly, the rules in Washington state are pretty simple regarding getting married - the couple needs to get a license within 60 days of the actual marriage, and they don't require that the officiant even provide their credentials. (I did give the couple a copy of my credentials, just to be on the safe side...)

Doug & Danielle put together their vows, and we got together a couple of weeks prior to the ceremony to go through them. Much to my horror, I kept on calling her Diane, because I'm friends with another couple named Doug & Diane. So I revised the vows & put Danielle's name in all caps, just to remind myself not to say the wrong name. That was my greatest fear, that I would flub her name - that would've been horrible.

Anyhow, yesterday (April 7th) was the date of the ceremony, and we had the rehearsal the afternoon of April 6th. The weather on Friday (April 6th) was gorgeous - it was sunny all day and the temperature even reached 80 degrees, a rarity for April in Seattle. Everyone was so optomistic that Saturday would also be gorgeous - no such luck!

I didn't have to be at the venue until 12:30 (the start time was 1:00 p.m.), and my morning was pretty hectic - I went to a spin class from hell at 8:15 a.m. (the slowest time in the world is the time you spend in a spin cycle class), and then I had a deep tissue massage scheduled for 10:00 a.m. I got in & out of my class (and the shower - thought that might be a good idea prior to a massage) and to my massage therapist's office by 10:00, but she was running late. Aargh - I had precious little time in between all of my comittments, and I had to be dressed, made up & out of my home by 12:00 p.m. or so. She wanted to extend my appointment (and I could've used it, my upper back was a mess, and it still is) but I had to get out of there.

I made it home quickly (which anyone familiar with Seattle traffic knows can be a minor miracle on any day of the week) and got dressed & ready by noon. My boyfriend showed up a few minutes later, and we made it to the venue by 12:30.

The weather looked pretty iffy when I got up - it was gray, but was not raining & the temperature was fairly warm. But by the time we got to the Lakeside (which is where the ceremony was being held), what had been a sporadic amount of drizzle had turned into a downpour. The chairs & flower arch were all set up outside, and nobody was sure whether or not we were going to try & move the ceremony under a tent, or just go for it. The couple decided to delay for a few minutes, and that turned out to be a good move because the rain finally started to let up.

Thankfully the ceremony was fairly short, and it turned out to be pretty appropriate for the situation. I walked down the aisle with Doug, and I got all teary eyed when Danielle started walking down the aisle to Etta James' "At Last." We opted to use a microphone because there is a lot of ambient noise on Lake Union, so I had to hold the microphone, and the binder that held the vows, which we hadn't practiced, so I felt a little akward about that. We made a last minute decision to have the best man, Danny, hold the rings until they were ready to exchange them. Originally I was going to hold them during the ring vows, but it would've been kind of hard to hold all of these items & not fumble them. I was fairly nervous throughout the whole thing, at one point I noticed that my knees were clenching & unclenching, and weird little things like that. But I kept on having to remind myself that I was merely a facilitator, nobody was really looking at me, etc. Somehow I made it through the ceremony - and I never called Danielle Diane!

Here are the vows that Doug & Danielle created, and they're very nice. I can take no credit for this:

Helen: Ladies and Gentlemen,
Welcome to the wedding of Douglas and Danielle.
Doug and Danielle have chosen this spot to announce their love and commitment for each other,
And to the world.
Marriage is a solemn commitment made by two people that holds the hope
And promise of a lifetime of togetherness.
Their lifetime will hold many trials and tribulations.
Just as the waves of the ocean pass over,
So hard times will pass over this couple.
Be strong, and like the mountains of our region you will last.
Stand together and you can face any storm that comes your way.
Support each other, and soon you will have a smooth path to walk again.
We who are witnessing your marriage,
Hope that your love and respect,
Your trust and understanding,
Will shine through any adversities,
And sing out with the true love and joy that is in your hearts.

Helen: Do you Doug,
Take Danielle to be your wife?
Will you stand together during rough seas,
Mountain storms,
Torrential down pours,
And desert winds?
Will you also stand together during the sunrises,
Sunsets,
And the many blessings and beauty
That the world may bring to you?

Doug: I will.

Helen: Do you Danielle,
Take Doug to be your husband?
Will you stand together during rough seas,
Mountain storms,
Torrential down pours,
And desert winds?
Will you also stand together during the sunrises,
Sunsets,
And the many blessings and beauty
That the world may bring to you?

Danielle: I will.

Helen: The wedding ring is a symbolic icon.
Alone the ring is just a piece of metal
Heated and formed without love.
But today,
We will transform these cold pieces of metal
Into beautiful symbols
Of everlasting love.
They will be placed on your fingers
And shine forth like a beacon in the storm
Shouting out that you are not alone in this world,
That you have someone to share your life with.
When you are apart from each other
Let this symbol shine in your heart
As well as on your hand.
This symbol that says you have chosen each other
Above all others.

Doug: Danielle,
I give you this ring as a symbol of our vows,
And with all that I am
And all that I have,
I honor you.
Please receive this ring
As a symbol of my love
And as a constant reminder
That I have chosen you
Above all others
To be the one to share my life.

Danielle: Doug,
I give you this ring as a symbol of our vows,
And with all that I am
And all that I have,
I honor you.
Please receive this ring
As a symbol of my love
And as a constant reminder
That I have chosen you
Above all others
To be the one to share my life.

Helen: I would like to read
An Apache blessing for this marriage:
Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there will be no loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two persons,
But there is only one life before you.
May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead
And through all the years.
May happiness be your companion
And your days together be good and long upon the earth.

Helen: You all have been given the pleasure
Of witnessing this very special occasion
That formally announces
The marriage of Doug and Danielle.
Now they have spoken their vows to each other
And given their promises.
They have declared that they are in love
And they will live together in holy matrimony.
They now wear the rings of love on their hands
And in their hearts.
So, by the authority vested in me,
I now pronounce them to be Husband and Wife. Doug, you may kiss your bride

Helen: Ladies and Gentlemen,
It gives me great pleasure to present to you
For the first time as husband and wife
Doug and Danielle

***********************
Whew! We all made it through without any major catastrophies, the rain didn't ruin things for anyone, and even provided some comic relief as the vows mention "torrential down pours." It was very meaningful for me to have been able to perform a marriage ceremony for Doug & Danielle, they are wonderful people. I don't think I'll be starting a wedding officiant business anytime soon, but it is pretty special to be able to do this for people who are your friends.

If I get any photos of the ceremony, I will post them later to this blog, and possibly on my web site.